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would be willing to sacrifice her identity to an impeccable pedigree
and a pile of stones and mortar.'
The light went out of his eyes. 'There will be no divorce, you can be
sure of that.' The bones of his face hardened beneath taut skin, and he
turned away quickly. 'Shall we go?' he said, and if she hadn't known
better she would have said he looked like a man who had just
received a devastating blow. But that was nonsense, because he must
know how much she disliked Feathergay and its unhappy
associations.
Tired of the seemingly interminable journey, of Leon's silence, of her
own bleak thoughts, Fliss asked, a barb in her voice, 'Does Annabel
know we're getting back together? I don't suppose she's exactly over
the moon about it.' Then she watched from the corner of her eye and
saw the unexpected twitch of a muscle at the side of his mouth. But
his voice was dead-pan, not telling her whether the quirk of his mouth
denoted ire or amusement.
'She knows.'
'And she's out right now, killing the fatted calf?' Fliss hazarded
sardonically. 'She always hated me.'
'Not always,' he contradicted evenly. 'Not until the day you walked
out on me and left her to break the news that you were sick of the
sight of me, that I was on no account to try to reach you. That you
were going back to a former boyfriend someone of your own age.'
So Annabel had told him that, had she? Fliss could believe it. True,
she had spoken to her mother-in-law on that dreadful day, asked her
to convey a message to Leon. But not that message.
As far as Fliss had known, Leon had still been in bed with Edwina,
oblivious to the rest of the world certainly to the fact that his wife
had walked into that room and into a nightmare. She had seen Leon's
dark head on the pillow, heard him murmur something, but after that
her shocked eyes had been riveted on Edwina... Edwina turning lazily
from Leon, rising up against the pillows, her naked body as mocking
as her glinting green eyes and her curving mouth. She had laughed,
low in her throat, a triumphant ripple of sound that had made Fliss's
heart freeze, and she had known that everything Edwina and Annabel
had ever said was absolutely, undeniably true.
Hardly able to think straight at the time, Fliss had gathered a few of
her possessions together, stuffing them haphazardly into a grip, and
had been already half-way down Feathergay's impressive driveway
on her way to the village bus-stop when she'd met her mother-in-law
on her way back from walking the dogs.
Fliss could still see the contemptuous look in the older woman's eyes
as she'd queried, 'In a hurry, are we?'. She could still feel the
sharpness of the autumnal afternoon air, smell the tanginess of rotting
leaves, of bonfire smoke and misty air.
'Yes. Would you give Leon a message for me? Tell him I'm leaving.
Our marriage is over.' She had meant to write as soon as she'd found
somewhere to hide herself even then she hadn't wanted him to
worry over her whereabouts as if he would! But Annabel would
doubtless be happy to save her that chore. 'Tell him not to bother to
try to find me, and tell him --' her precarious control had teetered then
' tell him he can divorce me and marry Edwina. It's what they both
want.'
But that had been a long time ago, and the pain had been translated to
anger, an anger so intense that it made her want to throw back her
head and howl for the innocent, trusting, feeble fool she had been four
years ago. Instead, she pushed bitter memories back into limbo,
where they belonged, and fixed her dry, burning eyes on the
monotonous motorway ahead.
'And you believed her, of course.'
'Why shouldn't I? She would hardly make something like that up.' He
sounded very cool, very laid- back, as if it had all happened to
someone on another planet. He didn't know that Fliss had seen him in
bed with Edwina unless that aristocratic little lady had deemed it
politic to tell him and the news of his unwanted wife's departure
would have given him nothing but relief. 'After a week of wedded
bliss,' his mouth curved acidly, 'I knew our marriage had been a
mistake. Every time I looked at you, you flinched. Every time you
looked at me you resembled a kicked spaniel. And as for our
lovemaking that was nonexistent. You were nothing but a doll.
Empty. When I tried to make love to you, you froze. It made sense
that you'd gone, gone to someone else. Someone younger. It was the
truth, after all, wasn't it? Annabel doesn't lie, so why shouldn't I have
believed her?'
'No reason,' Fliss countered bitterly. Annabel had been careful to
mask her intense disapproval of theyoung and unsuitable
daughter-in-law her son had presented her with. She had kept her
insults, her cruelly denigrating remarks, for such times as Leon was
absent. And he would have preferred to believe those lies because
they left him free to be with the woman he really wanted. His
conscience, if he had one, would have rested more easily.
She stared moodily out of the window, not bothering to contradict
him, to tell him exactly why Annabel should have lied four years ago.
Because it really didn't matter. Nothing would alter the fact that he
had married her for revenge, that he had immediately regretted it and
had been glad to be rid of her. Nothing would alter the fact that his
love for Edwina had been strong enough to shatter his marriage vows.
And during the short time with him at Feathergay, as his wife, she had
been humiliated enough to last her a lifetime. She was not going to
court further humiliation by letting him know, now, that she had left
him because her heart had been breaking up. Better, far better for her
pride's sake, for him to believe his mother's lies.
'Well, at least you did as I asked and didn't try to find me,' she
reflected drily, picking out the only part of the message Annabel had
relayed truthfully.
He moved his eyes from the road for just long enough to flick her a
frigid glance. 'I had you traced immediately, and have kept tabs on
you ever since. I have always known where you were living, where
you were working. If you'd hoped I'd come after you, begging, just to
give you an ego-trip, you didn't know me very well. I don't beg,
Felicity. Remember that.'
He reached forward and slipped a tape into the deck, and above the
strangely haunting music of Enya he told her slowly, 'Shortly after
you left, my father died. After that I had my hands full with Annabel,
with the business. Father had been ill for some time, but none of us
had suspected a thing. To put it politely, his affairs were in a mess. I
spent years, literally, chasing myself all over the world, until I
sometimes thought I'd meet myself coming back. And if you think
that's a crazy statement, that's what that period in my life was like.
Crazy. I worked myself to a standstill, pulling the business back
together again, making it stronger, invulnerable. I certainly didn't
have time to chase after a wife who'd admitted she couldn't stand the
sight of me.' [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]