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Finn didn t have to nod. Rowan could see the belief in his steel
blue eyes. How long ago was that, Finnegan?
What? Twenty-five years, why?
Rowan shrugged. I just wondered& you stopped blaming
yourself for your father s death after eighteen years, so when do
you plan to let yourself off the hook for what happened with your
wife and daughter?
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Finn frowned at him. That was different.
Is it? Rowan s brows lifted. How? You did something
foolish, so you blame yourself for other people s actions. Your
father chose to come make sure you were okay, your wife chose to
run away, but neither were choices you had any control over. Yes,
you made a mistake, a very large one, but you can t think that
avoiding the world and people who could care about you is the
price you ought to pay for it?
You don t understand.
Rowan nodded. You re right, I don t. I wasn t there and it
wasn t my life affected, so you re right. I ll tell you what I do
understand, though. I understand you would never do the same
thing twice. I know if you d known what would happen, you d
have chosen another path. Making a mistake isn t the crime,
Finnegan, but not learning from it is. You learned, didn t you? I
don t see you married to another woman living a lie, so I m going
to say yes, you did.
Finn gave him a terse look, and Rowan smiled gently. So
maybe you go overboard when you learn lessons. He reached
over and laid his hand on Finn s. I m sorry for your loss,
Finnegan. I truly am.
Finn nodded, and Rowan was grateful he hadn t pulled away.
Thanks. He let out a rough breath and gave Rowan a small smile,
just the curve of one corner of his lips. Subject change?
Rowan laughed and nodded. Subject change. Better yet&
Rowan hadn t been able to stop thinking about the one time
they d been together. Finn had held him, not saying a word, after
and it d been incredibly romantic. Even though he tried his best to
tell himself he wasn t going to expect more from Finn than sex and
friendship and maybe the chance to help, there was a small part of
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LETTING IN THE LIGHT
him that had melted inside at that.
Hey, Finnegan?
Yeah? Finn took a bite of his cream cheese and bagel and
looked at Rowan expectantly.
How hungry are you? Rowan met the other man s gaze and,
for a second, Finn looked confused. Then Rowan saw the light
bulb go on in the way the other man s eyes lit up and he sat up
straighter.
Not nearly as hungry as I was before you got here.
Before Rowan could make a move, Finn did it for him. He
reached out, his big hand curling against Rowan s nape, and leaned
in at the same time as he pulled him forward. Their lips met, and
the thought struck Rowan that Finn tasting of blueberries and
coffee was better than breakfast anyway.
His hand was so big, cupped against his nape and the back of
his head, Rowan felt dwarfed. It was something that would take
getting used to and yet it thrilled him, how big Finn was. Rowan
was used to being smaller than the guys he dated or, in Finn s case,
slept with, but never the way he was now.
Finn rose and lifted him off his stool in a display of that size
and strength, and Rowan had the bone-melting thought the other
man could very easily pin him down and do any damn thing he
wanted and Rowan wouldn t be able to stop him. Finn never
would, but he could, and just knowing that was enough to make
Rowan throb with desire.
When the kiss broke and Rowan realized they d stopped
moving, he was surprised to find them in the living room, not the
bedroom. He blinked, glancing around as Finn lowered him to the
long couch.
Got tired on the way to the stairs? he teased, and Finn gave
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his ass a light slap as he laid him down.
No, I decided I didn t want to wait that long to get you under
me.
Rowan sighed softly, lips curving, and he reached his arms up
to twine around Finn s neck. Then far be it from me to insist you
get me somewhere respectable before you fuck me senseless.
Then he hesitated. Condoms?
Finn s grin was so wicked it took his breath away. Back
pocket.
Rowan laughed, reaching down and around to slide one hand
into Finn s jeans pocket, pulling out a foil package. He grinned up
at his lover. Let me guess Boy Scout?
Be prepared, that s the motto.
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